Monday, January 10, 2011

Snowflake the Gorilla

One can only assume you've stumbled upon our blog via the YouTube channel so I'm sure you know what you're in for. Pure, unadulterated awesome. You may need to go grab yourself a Gatorade to help you make it through the experience of reading. I'll pause to let you get your beverage.


Ok, enough. If you haven't gotten it by now, hit the gym.


In case you were unaware, there are these animals called gorillas. They are furry and ape-like and have rage problems from time to time. If you see one walking down your street, I suggest you lock your doors. Though in all honesty, they're both strong enough and smart enough to just knock them down and come trouncing into your home. So really, if you see a gorilla, hop on your bike with pink streamers and start flying down the street ringing your bell to inform your neighbors of the impending danger. Even if when you leave your house the gorilla gives you a "come hither" look or puts the moves on you with his/her passion face, it is imperative that you keep on biking as quickly as you can. You never know, the gorilla might have a homemade machete seeing as he does have opposable thumbs.

I digress.

Below is a picture of Snowflake the Gorilla.

This is a good example of a gorilla's "come hither" look. Note the sultry gaze.

We discovered this lovely specimen the other day whilst perusing through pictures of the albino animal nature. If you haven't done so lately, please go and look them up now. They range from adorable to confusing to downright repulsive. No matter the mental scarring potential, it will be well worth your time.

This is an example of the passion face.

I suppose the purpose of this blog was both to serve as a warning about the impending doom associated with gorilla encounters and the many guises they can implement to raze your guard as well as to lift your spirits back up from the depths of despair with the exposure to an array of albino animal pictures.

Assuming you are like us and are most likely too lazy to actually look up albino animals on your own, we've taken the liberty of finishing off our blog with an assortment of different albinos. Enjoy and see you on the flipside.

-Chewbachman and Stingerface

In general, albino animals are not to be trusted. This squirrel is no exception. Note his shifty gaze and defensive posture.

Contrary to common belief, Sonic the Hedgehog is actually albino. He just gets highlights and wears colored contacts. Further proof that albino animals are dangerous. I mean, come on, have you SEEN how fast he is?!

It's hard work being so awesome and so extremely pale.

Albino animals are often full of angst and one small step from from a mental breakdown. Once they snap, as seen above, head for the hills.

Sometimes, you're so albino, you're pink.